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I feel like a horrible human being.

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I feel like a horrible human being.
I feel like I deserve to be abused, and so I'm dating a guy who I know has hurt women. 
 
 I've been raped, but I feel like I deserve to be hit. 
 
 I keep trying to get him angry so he will. 
 
 I know it's a horrible thing to think, and it shouldn't happen ever to anyone, but I feel as if I deserve it. 
 
 I'm so sorry.

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I feel like a horrible human being.

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