Page 491 - Hope

Every time my sister makes fun of me for listening to the song Not Alone by Darren Criss repeatedly she doesn't know that that song is the only reason I stopped cutting myself.

I still listen to that song at least four times a day.

She still has no idea why.

I don't have a friend that's there for me.

Both of my brothers smoke and pretend they aren't addicted.

One of them constantly reminds me that I'm overweight and ugly.

My parents struggle with money and want to move.

And I put on a fake smile every day and pretend everything's okay.

I pulled myself out of the depression I was in.

I stopped cutting. I stopped feeling awful all the time. I did this on my own. I had no help, no therapy, nothing.

And while nothing is perfect, or great, life is so much better. Please, don't hurt yourself, no matter how bad it is. You can make it.

I've always thought I'd be dead before I graduated.

I was raped. I was addicted to cutting and porn. I was mercilessly bullied.

I was emotionally abused by my girlfriend. I have an anxiety disorder and depression. I've attempted suicide many times.

But I graduate in 14 days. I have hope. :)

All I want is to be somebody. All I want is to be me.

All I want is for you to notice. All I want is to be free.

Most of all. All I want, is to be HAPPY.