Page 980 - Self-esteem

I'm the one that makes everyone laugh and forget their worries.

Noone ever thinks to check if I need help.

Truth is, it feels like I'm slowly dying inside.

But I plaster that smile on my face and go on as in nothing ever hurts because they need me to.

I have Bulimia, I refuse to tell anyone.

And I'm afraid it's killing me.

Youre losing weight by the minute and keep a set of scales in your room.

A year ago I was forced into recovery for my anorexia so I know the signs.

The worst thing is, while I'm worrying sick, my strongest emotion is jealousy.

I can't stand you being thinner than me.

I am a horrible little sister.

I've struggled for years to be pretty now.

And I realized now that I was happier when I was 120 pounds, 40 pounds heavier than I am now.

But why is it I'm still not good enough?

I used to not know why I cut.

I'm not depressed anymore.

Now, I've realized that pain is the only "emotion" I feel.

Plus, I like the scars.